Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The End of an Era

After my son was born, I stayed home with him for a little while. When I did return to work, I returned part-time, which was a pretty great deal, and I count myself lucky that my old job took me back part-time. But wait! Then I found out that if I worked three more measly hours, I could be "reduced full-time," which means I got benefits and accrued time off. So I did it. 30 hours a week, and full benefits? Yes.

That was almost four years ago. Lots has changed here at the good old jay-oh-bee, and it looks like my wonderful nook as reduced full-time is no longer ok. The fit has hit the shan. All cards are on the table. The monkey has flown the coop. That's right: I've got to start working full time, or go somewheres else. But where else would one go to find a "reduced full time" job? Starbucks? Well, I just paid $260 and a lot of time, energy, and worry to become certified in my field, so that's a no for Starbucks.

So, here I will stay. I don't know exactly when the full-time deal starts. Soon. I'll make a list of pros and cons here because that's what I'm here to do: weigh. But I already know that the pros aren't making me feel much better about the cons right now.

PRO More money - this doesn't matter a whole lot, and the extra I'll be paying in day care will probably soak a lot of it up.

PRO More vacation time - meh. They just make you feel guilty for taking off when you do, so no, this doesn't help.

PRO Accepted as a full member of the team again with a clear role that I and everyone else understand. THIS is good. THIS will make it worthwhile on the days when the cons get me down. I hope. Feeling like an addendum to our team has been pretty demoralizing at times, so I'm looking forward to...not feeling that way, I guess.

CON I lose 10 hours a week that I have spent with Cooper and Sadie. 10 hours that they didn't have to be in day care. I lose my new "Mommy and Sadie Day" on Mondays that started when Cooper started Kindergarten a few weeks ago. I have looked so forward to that since I came back from maternity leave with her, and now I'm going to lose it after only about a month. That might be the worst of all of this.

CON I'll now have to request off for appointments when I used to just schedule them all on my day off. To me, that's less separation of work and home. Now it's like I'm logging all my hours used for doctor appointments.

CON Sadie will spend more time at day care. Another full day. I'm really not happy about that, either.

CON I'll have to spend my weekends getting all my laundry done (like everyone else). Right now I do that on Mondays, and save my weekends for other stuff.

So there it all is. I is sad. Mom and Brent have both assured me that I'm way more worried about the time I'm losing with the kids than the kids are. Not sure if that's helpful or not, but likely true. Le sigh.